


Home for Xmas

by amirosebooks



Series: Feels Like Home [2]
Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Angst, Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Masturbation, O'Flaherty Family, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 09:45:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amirosebooks/pseuds/amirosebooks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by these The Interrogation Room posts (<a href="http://theinterrogationroom.tumblr.com/post/49395234429/ts-isnt-it-sad-that-kelly-is-an-orphan-in-the-past">1</a> & <a href="http://theinterrogationroom.tumblr.com/post/46917620197/nick-you-and-kelly-seriously-dude-you-should-make">2</a>). Nick invites Kelly to stay with him while Kelly's divorce is being finalized. They end up at Nick's parents' house for Christmas. After an argument between Nick and his father, Nick and Kelly leave early.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter is filled with pain and angst because of Nick's family. Chapter two has a bunch of flirting and banter. The third chapter has shower masturbation and mentions of f/m pairings.

_December 25, 2004_

Kelly stood in the living room and took stock of his surroundings. A man-sized pine tree covered in multicolored lights that flickered on and off stood in front of the window. The ornaments that hung from the tree were a mixture of the ones kids make in school out of clay, glitter and school portraits along with store bought ornaments celebrating various sports, mostly hockey. Next to the tree was one of the old, freestanding large screen televisions, the top of which was littered with various school portraits of four red-blonde haired girls and one freckle covered boy. On the couch across from the television was a threadbare novelty blanket done up in the yellow and black Boston Bruins logo.

Kelly chuckled to himself. _Yeah, this seems like the kind of place Nick would grow up in._

His thoughts were interrupted by someone clearing their throat behind him. He tensed slightly in surprise before turning around.

It was one of Nick’s sisters. 

“So, you’re a Marine like my brother?”

“Uh, no. I’m Navy. I was the medic on Nick’s Force Recon team.”

“Oh, so you’re the one we can thank for getting him back home to us in one piece?”

Kelly blushed and shrugged.

“I suppose so.”

“Well, thank you. I don’t know what we would do without him.”

She walked over to the television, picked up one of the pictures and turned it so that Kelly could see. It was of Nick, sometime in his teens, in a dusty baseball uniform. He had a big smile plastered on his face. A smile Kelly recognized as being the one he wore when he was uncomfortable, but wanted to appear joyful. The remnants of a black eye dusted his right cheek bone. Kelly knew that it hadn’t come from playing sports or being a typical teenage boy. That thought made his chest ache.

The sound of raised voices coming from down the hall broke the silence. They were coming from the study where Nick had gone to speak with his father shortly after they had arrived late for Christmas dinner. 

Kelly glanced at Nick’s sister. Her spine was stiff and she was doing her best not to look in the direction of the voices. 

Kelly remembered Nick mentioning the abuse his father dealt out to his children, but he hadn’t realized it extended to his family ignoring a fight like this. He shook his head, walked down the hall and pushed open the study door.

“You’re still just a _stupid_ fuckin’ kid sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong!”

Nick’s face flashed with hurt for a moment before he clenched his jaw and continued to stare at his father. The man stood in front of Nick, his face red with anger. He had one finger waving in Nick’s face, his other hand was clenched in a fist at his side. 

“I just want to know that they’re safe. That’s all!”

Kelly took a step further into the room, in case he had to break up the fight. Or join in.

“The fuck do you want?” Nick’s father snapped at Kelly. 

Nick turned and cursed under his breath. Regret passed over his face when he saw Kelly had entered the room.

“It’s fine Kelly. I’m okay.” Nick tried to give him a reassuring smile before turning back to his father. 

Kelly stood his ground, refusing to leave the room and abandon Nick.

“Dad, tell me you’re not drinking again.” 

You could hear the sorrow in Nick’s voice, the pain. Something inside Kelly ached to soothe his friend’s wounds. To put an end to this fight before more damage could be done, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t fight Nick’s personal demons for him and that knowledge almost hurt more than hearing the pain he was going through.

“It was a retirement party for the boss at work. You tellin’ me I should have insulted him by not toasting him?”

“No, I’m telling you that you shouldn’t be drinking at all because you’re a fucking awful drunk! There are always other things you can toast with.” Nick’s voice cracked and he shook his head in disbelief. “You just wanted the excuse to get drunk again.”

“Damn right. It’s been more than ten years now since I went on the wagon. I deserved one drink.”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Is that why you came home stumbling drunk and smacked Ma?”

“You watch your fuckin’ mouth boy. I’ll still take you over my knee.”

Nick clenched his jaw and stared at the ceiling. Kelly could see his eyes reflecting tears and pain from where he stood. He threw a glare at Nick’s father. The man had his arms crossed in front of him and a smug grin spread across his face.

“If you’re so fuckin’ worried about them why don’t you come around more often, huh?”

“You know why I don’t come around more often.” 

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re a little bitch that runs from his problems.”

“Fuck you,” Nick stepped closer to his father and gestured in frustration. “I never ran from my problems!” 

“Bullshit! You ran when you were eighteen, just like you ran when you was a little boy. You’ve always been scared of manning up and facing the cards that life dealt to you.”

“Not manning up?” Nick huffed out a laugh. “Do you mean I wasn’t manning up when I took beatings from your drunk ass so my sisters didn’t have to? You’re the sonuvabitch that beat his own fucking children.”

“Oh please, ya’ baby.” Nick’s father waved a dismissive hand. “That was just tough love.”

“Tough love?” Nick’s eyes were wide, hands on his hips as he stared slack jawed back at his father. “No, tough love is when you take your kid out of the store to the car for a timeout when they’re throwing a tantrum in public. Tough love is _not_ when you use your son as a fucking punching bag when you’ve had a few too many on a Friday night. That’s called abuse, asshole.”

“I was just trying to toughen you up because I knew you were a fucking pansy.” Nick’s father pointed at Kelly. “Bringing this little fag into my house on Christmas just proves to me that I was right.”

Nick’s voice went dangerously quiet, his body alarmingly still.

“Say what you want about me, you abusive piece of shit, but don’t you _dare_ talk about Kelly. He is ten times the man you ever were.”

“Oh, so you’re the girl in the relationship, huh?” Nick’s father chuckled as he looked his son up and down. “You’re the one takin’ it in the ass?”

Nick drew back a fist, but Kelly got to him before he could take the shot. With one hand on Nick’s right shoulder, the other on his left forearm, he gently started pushing his friend backwards away from his father. 

“Hey, Irish, come back.” Kelly moved his head trying to catch Nick’s eyes which were still staring daggers over Kelly’s shoulder. “You’re better than him, better than this.” Kelly moved a hand up to Nick’s jaw and turned Nick’s head so he was facing Kelly. “He’s not worth it.”

Nick’s eyes closed and Kelly could feel him trying to let go of the tension that had been building in his muscles. Kelly watched his Adam’s apple bob as Nick swallowed. Finally Nick let his arm drop and met Kelly’s eyes. 

His breath caught when he saw the brief flash of anguish in Nick’s red rimmed eyes.

A noise from the doorway caught their attention. 

Kelly let his hands drop as they both turned towards the sound.

Nick’s mother was at the door, not quite inside the study, but not fully in the hallway either. She held an uneasy smile on her face that looked macabre next to the red holiday sweater she was wearing. Kelly could make out a faint bruise on the right side of her jaw that had been covered in concealing makeup.

“Is everything alright in here, boys?” 

Kelly was dumbfounded. He glanced at Nick who stood next to him, looking shamefaced and embarrassed. _I have to get Nick out of here._

“Yeah, Ma. Everything is fine. Dad and I were just catching up.”

Nick’s father walked up on Nick’s other side and slapped his shoulder in a mock-friendly fashion.

“We’re okay, love. How are the grandkids getting along? Are they tuckered out already?”

Nick’s mothers eyes darted nervously between her husband and her son before she forced her smile to widen.

“Yes, the little dears are just about ready for a nap. So much excitement today.”

“Excellent.” Nick’s father’s grin was beginning to creep Kelly the fuck out. “We will be out in a moment my dear. I just have a few more things to say to Nick. Why don’t you bring out more of those Christmas cookies your Aunt sent to us? They were delicious.”

Nick’s mother visibly brightened.

“Oh, that’s a wonderful idea. Nicholas, you and your friend will just love them.”

Nick gave her a tense smile as she walked back down the hallway. Kelly was still stunned. He had never seen Nick act like this. He’d known the man for a huge chunk of his life, but had never seen this. No wonder he kept Sidewinder and his family as separate as possible. On the one hand he was glad that Nick trusted him enough to bring him along for this disastrous trip. On the other he couldn’t help feeling torn about whether things would have gone better or worse without Kelly’s presence.

Nick’s father took a few steps across the room and stood with an ear cocked towards the door. Once he seemed satisfied that his wife was far enough away he turned back to Nick and Kelly. His eyes passed between them, face twisted in disgust. He gestured at Kelly.

“How dare you bring _him_ here on today of all days.”

“We’re just friends. Kelly just went through a divorce so he’s staying with me while the dust settles. He doesn’t have any other family to visit for the holidays.”

Nick’s father sneered before flicking his eyes back to Kelly.

“That true, faggot?”

Nick’s hand brushed his forearm in a reassuring gesture.

“Yes sir. My ex-wife was trying to rid our house of my things by having a bonfire. Nick here helped me rescue what she hadn’t already burned.” 

“Yeah? Well, I still think you’re stickin’ it to my pansy son.”

It was Kelly’s turn to place a calming hand on Nick’s arm.

“You know what, Nick doesn’t deserve this shit.” Kelly was done dealing with this asshole. “I may have grown up an orphan, but I know what shitty fathers look like.” He pointedly looked Nick’s father up and down. “You’re one of the worst parents I have seen in a long time and I work with underprivileged kids.”

Nick’s father bristled and Kelly felt Nick tense next to him, like he was waiting for his father to explode. 

“You dare come in my house and talk to me this way?”

“How dare you treat your son like this! Do you have any idea what he’s been through? How many lives he’s saved? Do you even have a clue what kind of man he is?” Kelly shook his head before raising it again and giving him a defiant look. “Nick is one of the strongest, bravest men that I have ever met. He bends over backwards for _anyone_ that asks for his help. He has more heart inside him than a whole fucking nunnery combined. And you, you’re the person he’s supposed to look up to. The one that’s supposed to be there for him to come to when the world is falling down around him. To tell him that he’s fucking _worth_ something. But all you do is tear him down. If it’s not with your words it’s with your fists. How dare you call yourself a father!”

Nick’s father stood there, mouth opening and closing before he finally settling on clenching his jaw.

“Get out of my house. Both of you.”

Nick’s hand wrapped around Kelly’s upper arm as he began walking them out of the study.

“With _fucking_ pleasure, dad.”

They made it to the living room before Nick’s two oldest sisters caught up with them. 

“Nick, is everything okay? We heard shouting. Did he hit you?”

Kelly watched Nick take a calming breath and paste on his ‘everything is fine’ smile before letting go of Kelly’s arm and turning to his sisters.

“Everything is fine. There’s nothing for you to worry about.” He ushered them both into a hug and kissed the top of their heads before letting them go. “Really, it’s okay.”

The sister that had showed Kelly the picture earlier wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. 

“Are you guys leaving?”

“Yeah,” Nick’s smile widened to an even faker one. “Kelly isn’t feeling well so we’re ducking out early. He needs bed rest and we don’t want anyone else getting sick, right?”

The sisters gave Kelly their best concerned mother faces which Kelly met with his best ‘yeah, I’m totally not feeling well’ face.

“You poor thing. Getting sick on Christmas? How awful.”

Kelly nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve been feeling off for a few days, but just hit me.”

“Well, it was nice meeting you Kelly. And thank you again for making sure my brother made it out of the service alive.”

“You’re welcome.”

 

* * *

 

They spent the next twenty minutes exchanging goodbyes with everyone except Nick’s father, who had made himself scarce after Nick and Kelly had left the study. Nick’s sisters and mother made sure that their car was loaded up with still wrapped presents and more leftovers than any two people could ever eat. Then they were finally leaving Nick’s parents house. The traffic leaving Nick’s parents house was not as bad as it had been on the way there. Almost like the cars were trying to give them an quick escape after failing to prevent them from making it to the house in the first place.

Kelly looked over at Nick’s silent form in the driver’s seat. He had one elbow propped up on the door, his fingers were rubbing at his lips in that nervous gesture Kelly had come to recognize over the years. In the darkness Kelly could make out the tears trailing down Nick’s cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to erase his friends pain. No one deserved to be treated that way. Least of all Nick.

“So, Irish.” Kelly cleared his throat and tried to keep his tone lighter than he felt. “I’ve decided that I don’t mind being an orphan after all.”

Nick’s mouth quirked up on one side as he glanced at Kelly with a puzzled expression.

“Seriously, dead parents all the way. Makes holiday visits a lot easier.” Kelly babbled nervously in a lighthearted manner. “Less people to shop for. No one to give you ugly socks you don’t need or leave lipstick covered kisses on your cheeks.” 

Nick’s smile was widening.

“You want to know the best part?”

“What’s the best part, Doc?”

“Gravestones don’t talk back.”

A laugh escaped Nick’s lips as he shook his head.

“Kelly, has anyone ever told you that you have a twisted sense of humor?”

“Oh yeah, all the time.”

Then they were both laughing. The tension of the past few hours melting as they continued down the road.

 

* * *

 

Nick pulled up to the curb in front of a two story brick building, a neon dragon lit up most of the main window, and handed his keys to the valet as they exited the car. They had decided to grab dinner at a Chinese Restaurant and Bar that Nick knew would be open despite the holiday. 

Kelly looked up at the building while he waited for Nick to come around the car. When he saw the name of the restaurant he laughed.

“Seriously, Irish?”

Nick turned to him with a half smile.

“What? They’ve got good food.”

“Mei Dong Garden has good food?”

“Shut up.” Nick huffed at him.

Kelly chuckled and started walking towards the door to the restaurant. He was concentrating on not slipping on the icy sidewalk when Nick tugged at his arm.

“Hey, Kelly?”

Kelly turned back to his friend. Nick’s eyes were glossy and his face was serious again.

“I just wanted to say thank you. For what you said back there, for defending me. I-.” Nick pressed his lips together and looked at the ground. “Just, thank you.”

“Hey, no problem. That’s what friends are for. You would have done the same for me.”

Nick nodded and then pulled him into a tight hug, burying his face in Kelly’s neck. Kelly pulled him closer and rested his head on Nick’s. So they stood there, arms wrapped around each other, as it began to snow. Kelly would have stood on that icy sidewalk holding Nick together as he fell apart forever if Nick had needed him to.

Eventually Nick let his arms drop and wiped a hand at his eyes.

“Let’s get some food.”

Nick’s half smile was a real one this time. Kelly felt a tug at his heart as he matched Nick’s smile and followed him into the restaurant.


	2. Home for Xmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following the fight at Nick's parents house, Nick and Kelly decide to finish their holiday evening eating Chinese food and drinking. Inspired by these The Interrogation Room posts ([1](http://theinterrogationroom.tumblr.com/post/49395234429/ts-isnt-it-sad-that-kelly-is-an-orphan-in-the-past) & [2](http://theinterrogationroom.tumblr.com/post/46917620197/nick-you-and-kelly-seriously-dude-you-should-make))

The inside of Mai Dong Garden, the Chinese Bar and Restaurant Nick had heard about through his partner, was a welcome change from the cold Massachusetts sidewalk outside. The floors were a dark stained wood, lacquered to a high shine, the walls were painted a deep red, with dark wainscoting that ran waist high around the room. To the right of the door was the restaurant bar. The wall behind the bar was mirrored, reflecting the red paint and low lighting. Rows of glass liquor bottles and pictures featuring various celebrities that had stopped in for drinks sat on the shelves in front of the mirrored wall. 

Looking to the left of the door Nick could see the restaurant’s dining area, which was crowded for a holiday. Some of the diners were obviously families finishing their meals, trying to rush their kids out the door. They were the ones that had children driving toy cars on the tables between plates and silverware, shiny gift bags and bunched up wrapping paper spilling to the floor beneath their feet. Nick idly wondered if some of those families were having their holiday dinner in a public place in order to avoid drama and violence like his own parents had done a few times during the height of his father’s addiction.

Movement from the right caught Nick’s attention. A woman in her early twenties dressed in form fitting black slacks and the customary black button up top ducked behind the hostess desk. Nick watched her plaster a cordial smile onto her face which he answered with a flirtatious smirk.

“Happy holidays and welcome to Mai Dong Garden.” She smoothed a lock of hair behind one ear. “Do you gentlemen have a reservation?”

Nick leaned against the hostess desk with one arm.

“Yes, but I think we’re a little early.” He licked at his lips and gave her another smile. “We should be under O’Flaherty.”

While the hostess looked for their reservation Nick glanced at Kelly. His arms were wrapped around his waist, shoulders shaking and his mouth was pressed into a tight line. Nick could tell he was trying to hold in his laughter. Kelly must have noticed Nick’s gaze because he turned to meet Nick’s eyes. Kelly lost it, a giggle escaped and he slapped a hand over his mouth. Nick’s brow furrowed, questioningly, Kelly shook his head and gestured at a red neon sign that spelled out the restaurant’s name. Nick blinked at him slowly.

“Pervert.” Nick muttered under his breath.

He gave Kelly his best disapproving glare, but it did nothing to keep Kelly from laughing.

“Ah yes,” the hostess turned her attention back to them. “I do see your reservation here, but it will be another forty-five minutes before a table opens up. Do you want to wait in the bar?”

“Sure, babe, that’ll be fine.” 

She blushed at Nick as he stuffed the square plastic buzzer she had given him, to tell them when their table was ready, into his back pocket. He winked at her then wrapped a hand around Kelly’s upper arm and used it to lead him through the throng of holiday drunks. Nick must have looked as tense as he still felt from the fight with his father, because when they reached the bar two stools opened up immediately. 

Nick watched in the mirror behind the bar as Kelly spun back and forth on the barstool to Nick’s right. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, Kelly’s pleasure over the simplest of things amazed him. Nick was never able to stay down for long with Devil Doc at his side.

“So that’s what Christmas is like for normal people, huh?”

“Normal in my family anyway,” he muttered.

The bartender slid them their drinks. Guinness for Nick, a Jack and Coke for Kelly. When the bartender walked away again Kelly leaned closer and nudged Nick with his shoulder.

“You deserve better than having to deal with them, Irish.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Nick shook his head. “I’m sorry you had to see all of that.”

“Are you kidding? You’re the one that had to grow up in that environment.” Kelly frowned. “Comparatively my childhood aches and pains were easy.”

Nick glanced at Kelly who was studying the bubbles in his glass.

“Hey, don’t think like that Kelly.” He placed a hand on Kelly’s shoulder. “Everyone has a shitty childhood, one way or another. The people that claim they didn’t either grew up in the Twilight Zone or they’re lying about it.”

Kelly gave him a melancholy half smile before returning to his drink. Nick squeezed his shoulder reassuringly and took another sip from his Guinness. 

Nick took a deep breath and willed himself to calm down. He had been tense with anxiety for hours before they had arrived at his parents house and it had only gotten worse once they were actually inside. 

Seeing that fading bruise on his mother’s face had almost sent him into a blind rage. But there was no way he was going to actually fight his father while his sisters were in the house, or Kelly for that matter.

Nick frowned. _Kelly._  

No one had ever stood up to his father in defense of Nick like that before. 

Ty would have knocked Nick’s father on his ass after one look at the bruise left on Ma’s face. There never would have been a chance for him to say any of that shit to Nick. 

But Kelly had let Nick stand up to his father, confront him about his drinking and violence. While silently letting Nick know that he had someone on his side in the argument. Hell, Kelly had even stopped him from actually hitting his father. 

It was better that Kelly had come along instead of Ty, not that Nick would have invited Ty to his parents house. Getting arrested for domestic violence was not the way Nick wanted to spend Christmas.

When his father had started in on Kelly, Nick had seen red. If Kelly hadn't physically held him back and calmed him down Nick would have spent the night in a jail cell. After sending his father to the hospital or possibly the morgue. 

A shiver ran down his spine.

“Hey Kelly?” Nick bit his lip. “I’m sorry about what my dad said back there. What he called you.”

Kelly looked at him head tilted to the side, a slow, puzzled smile teasing his lips.

“Oh, you mean the f-word?” Kelly chuckled softly. “Forget it. He’s a bigot and there’s no reason for you to apologize.”

“He’s always been like that around my friends,” he insisted. “I don’t know why.”

“Because your friends are your access to the world outside your family.” Kelly smiled and shook his head, like what he was saying was obvious. “They take away some of his ability to control you. To hurt you. So, he does what he can to tear those people down in front of you. Unfortunately, I see that pretty often from parents at the camp.”

“Still, there was no reason for him to call you that.  Or insinuate that we were lovers.”

“Being called a fag doesn’t bother me, Irish.” Kelly's grin widened. “I mean, I’ve never tried sleeping with a guy, but the idea doesn’t disgust me. If you’re sharing pleasure with someone you care about, even if it’s just for one night. What’s wrong with that?”

Nick held his breath and nodded.

“I wouldn't judge someone for preferring brown eyes over green. So, why should I care if what genitalia or gender identity they're attracted to.” Kelly waved a hand. “Sex is sex. Love is love. Why stress over it?”

“Yeah, you're right,” he answered with a forced smile.

Nick shifted in his seat. 

Kelly drained his glass, slammed it onto the bar and threw his arm around Nick’s shoulder. He leaned closer to Nick.

“Come on, Irish. You know you’re my brother from another mother.” Kelly murmured. The feel of Kelly’s breath on his skin had Nick swallowing against the shiver it sent down his spine. “And if I was gay my one and only true lover.”

_It’s just a saying. He just said he’s not actually interested in guys. Calm down, Nick. Haven’t we had this ‘don’t lust over your straight friends’ conversation before?_  

Kelly chuckled as he squeezed Nick's shoulder one last time before releasing him and signaling to the bartender to bring them another round.

Nick swallowed the last of his Guinness and spun the empty glass between his fingers. _Maybe I should just do it. Come out to Kelly, get it off my chest._ Nick grimaced. No, he had heard too many stories about people losing friends and family because they came out of the closet. Hell, he had been to enough crime scenes featuring the aftermath of coming out. 

Then again, this was _Devil Doc_. The heart of Sidewinder. He had literally held Nick’s lifeblood in his hands on numerous occasions. Seen Nick at his worst and never judged him for any of it. With the exception of his soon to be ex-wife, Nick had never seen Kelly grow to hate anyone he had once cared about.

Nick's heart leapt in his chest. With the decision made, Nick took a fortifying deep breath and turned to his friend. 

“Kelly, I have something to tell you.”

Kelly perked up like he spotted something in the mirrored wall behind the bar and he slapped Nick on the shoulder.

“Hey, hold that thought, I’ll be right back.” He pointed back at Nick as he walked away. “Save my seat, bitch!”

Before Nick could reply Kelly had melted into the crowd behind them.

Fifteen minutes later Nick was on his second glass of Guinness, he was hoping that alcohol would give him the courage to tell Kelly he was bisexual. Praying that Kelly would still want to talk to him once he had. The Guinness was tasteless and his gut churned. 

Something bright moved in the corner of his eye. He turned to tell the person that the seat next to him was taken. What he saw, though, was Kelly and Nick's jaw dropped.

“Where the hell did you find that? Do they have some kind of gift shop?”

Kelly was nodding before Nick had finished talking.

“Yeah, I spotted it in the mirror.” He pulled a red t-shirt from his back pocket and unfurled it with a flick of his fingers before spinning it around so Nick could see the logo. “I got Ty a ‘You’ll Love Eating at Mai Dong Garden’ shirt. He’s gonna die when he sees that.” Kelly mused gleefully.

“I’m sure he will.” Nick chuckled and his smile widened before he pointed at what Kelly was wearing on his head. “I was asking about that though.”

Kelly’s eyes crossed as he looked upwards at the hot pink Santa hat that was pulled down to his eyebrows.

“Hey, this hat is awesome. You know you're jealous.” A lazy smile spread across Kelly’s lips. “I would have gotten you one, but I figured the pink would clash with the whole redhead, lack of soul vibe you got going on.”

Kelly winked at Nick before leaning over to stuff Ty’s t-shirt back in his pocket.  After the shirt was safely tucked away Kelly started digging through his coat, humming a cheerful tune.

“So, what did you want to tell me?” Kelly asked distractedly.

“Right.” Nick cleared his throat. “Kelly, I haven’t been totally honest with you. You see…”

Nick’s train of thought was derailed when he saw that Kelly had finally found what he had been searching for in his coat. 

It was one of those jumbo candy canes sticks. The ones that were about two inches around and six inches long. Nick found himself unable to look away as Kelly's tongue darted between his lips and traced the stripes on the candy cane. Just as Nick thought he could handle the way Kelly was eating, the candy cane disappeared into Kelly's mouth. Nick's whole body felt like it was on fire as Kelly shifted the candy cane in and out of his mouth, slowly trying to suck it down to a point. Nick's cock twitched.  Kelly's tongue started tracing the remaining red candy lines again and Nick shivered. He couldn't suppress his groan when Kelly sucked the candy cane quickly back into his mouth. Kelly narrowed his eyes and tilted his head quizzically. With a loud, wet pop Kelly pulled the candy can from his mouth and Nick swallowed hard.

“Nick, you okay?”

_Yeah, just lusting over my straight best friend giving head to a fucking candy cane. I’m totally fine._

“Yeah. I’m good.” Nick's voice was hoarse.

Nick started reciting baseball stats in his head. As he attempted to reign in the urge to drag Kelly into the nearest utility closet and fuck him until he never wanted to look at anyone other than Nick again.

Nick flinched. _Where the fuck did that come from? Kelly's straight._ _Attractive and apparently talented with his tongue, but straight._

Rubbing a hand over his mouth he glanced back at Kelly.

Kelly raised an eyebrow and waved the candy at Nick’s face.

“Are you sure you're okay, man?”

Nick nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

Kelly squinted. “What were you trying to tell me, anyway?”

“Uh, I booked us a hotel room before we even made it to my parents’ house. I was pretty sure that it was going to go badly, I just should have mentioned it earlier.”

Nick turned back to his Guinness and tried to will his erection down. 

“Really,” Kelly replied flatly. “You go all serious on me to say that you booked us a hotel room? I figured that you had booked a room when we got here and already had reservations.”

“Yeah, sorry. It just slipped my mind is all.” Nick pulled the buzzer the waitress had given him from his back pocket with a grunt. “Speaking of reservations, it looks like our table is ready. Let’s go.”

Nick spun off the barstool and started walking away. Kelly flailed off of his own stool and followed him into the crowd. When he caught up he grabbed Nick’s arm and turned him so they were facing each other. 

Kelly's brow was furrowed when he met Nick’s eyes.

“Nick, if you have something you want to talk about I’m here. I’ll listen.”

Nick brushed his bottom lip with his thumb and gave Kelly a tense smile. _Now or never, Irish._ He took a breath and looked into Kelly’s eyes.

“Gentlemen, are you interested in winning a free round of drinks?”

They both jumped slightly before turning in the direction of the voice.

“What?” Nick croaked.

Another waitress was standing next to them, smiling patiently. When she saw that she had their attention she pointed at the ceiling. Nick and Kelly followed her finger with their eyes and found that there was a sprig of mistletoe was tied to the beam above their heads.

“We’re doing a contest tonight for the people that stop here without noticing where they are. If you're willing to kiss under the mistletoe tonight you win a free round of drinks on the house.”

“Sure,” Kelly smiled around the candy cane that had made its way back into his mouth. “Why not?”

Nick gave the woman a rakish grin and held out a hand to her. “Shall we?”

She laughed and shook her head. “Sorry, guys, I’m not part of the contest.”

Kelly shrugged and said, “That’s fine.” His mouth was still stuffed with candy cane.

Nick clenched his teeth and gave Kelly a patient smile. “Doc, she means you and I kiss.”

Kelly shrugged again. “Free drinks, man. Who cares.” Again the candy cane was yanked out of Kelly's mouth and his face transformed into that mischievous smile he usually got right before he did something destructive. “Why, are you too butch to kiss me under the mistletoe, Irish?”

_It’s official, the universe hates me._

Nick pinched the bridge of his nose and he stepped a little closer to Kelly. “Fine.” 

Swallowing, Nick tried to figure out whether he was going to kiss Kelly for real or just give him a quick, middle school style peck on the mouth. Either one would work to win them the drinks that Kelly seemed so intent on getting, but only one of them would risk Nick losing one of his closest friends. Still, part of him really wanted to know what it would be like to kiss Kelly. That was the part of Nick that usually got him in trouble.

Nick watched Kelly fuss with his jacket. The fuzz ball on the top of his Santa hat kept swinging around and hitting Kelly in the mouth. Each time it did he would swat at the ball with one hand sending it back over his shoulder for a few more seconds before leaning over to dig in another pocket and it would fall again. Eventually he growled and yanked the candy cane from his mouth one more time. The frustrated expression on Kelly's face was ridiculous next to the hot pink Santa hat. Nick's shoulders twitched and he pressed his lips together, trying to hold in his laughter.

“I can’t find a place to put my candy cane.”

Nick huffed. “You’re thinking way too much, Doc.”

Nick wrapped an arm around Kelly’s lower back and jerked Kelly's body closer until he was leaning against Nick’s chest. Kelly squeaked and flailed. His right hand clutched at Nick’s upper arm to balance himself while the other one, holding the candy cane, dropped to his side. Nick watched Kelly’s throat bob as his friend swallowed hard. Their eyes met, Kelly’s were wide, whether with anticipation or fear Nick couldn’t tell. 

Nick brought his left hand up, using his fingers to tilt up Kelly’s chin. Leaning in, his eyes dancing across Kelly’s face trying to detect any disgust or the desire to retreat. Nick felt the hitch in Kelly’s breath and his own pulse sped up in response. Kelly’s lips were redder than normal thanks to the candy cane. Nick fought to repress his body’s natural reaction as Kelly’s tongue darted across the bottom lip leaving it glossy. 

Nick leaned in.

Their lips met. 

Briefly, mouths closed.

Nick pulled back quickly, letting the hand holding Kelly’s chin drop and unwrapping his other arm from Kelly’s waist. Nick took a step back and swallowed hard. He looked at the waitress again with a tight smile.

“Awesome.” She handed them two fliers. “Just give these to your waitress when you place your order and you’ll be all set. Enjoy your meal. Happy holidays!”

Nick clutched the fliers like they were a life line as he watched the waitress disappear back into whatever hiding spot she had been watching the mistletoe from originally. 

Clearing his throat, he glanced back at Kelly who didn’t appear to be scarred for life after the kiss. “Let’s go find our table, shall we?”

Kelly nodded absently and stuck that damned candy cane back in his mouth. Nick clenched his teeth and nodded before heading in the direction of the restaurant’s hostess desk. _Alcohol, that’s what this night needs, lots of alcohol._

* * *

 

Kelly took a deep, calming breath as he watched Nick walk away. _Son of a bitch._

Kelly had initially agreed to the kiss in hopes that it would be funny and Nick would be able to laugh about it. Kelly had wanted to relieve some of the tension he had seen in Nick the whole day. 

What he hadn’t anticipated was making Nick more tense and leaving himself feeling… disappointed? Kelly frowned in confusion at that feeling as he made his way through the crowd after Nick.

When Kelly finally spotted Nick, he was already sitting in a dimly lit booth. Kelly took the time, before Nick saw him, to study his friend. Nick’s head was down, shoulders tense and brow creased as he stared at the menu in his hands. Beneath the table, one of Nick’s legs bounced in a nervous rhythm.

From the time Kelly was assigned as Corpsman for Sidewinder, he had never been able to watch Nick looking depressed or stressed without feeling compelled to help him snap out of it. Maybe it was because Nick was so even keeled normally, but seeing Nick tense like this had always upset something deep inside Kelly. Almost as if Kelly could feel his pain and needed to make it stop before either of them spiraled down further.

Kelly was determined to turn this Christmas around. Not that he gave a shit about the holiday, he just really didn’t want to have Nick remember it solely for the fight he’d had with his father. He knew there were too many dark Christmases in Nick's past already. 

_Time to bring out the goofball._ After shaking some of the stiffness from his muscles, Kelly jammed the candy cane back in his mouth and adjusted his hot pink Santa hat until it was cockeyed on his head. After pasting on an overly joyous grin, which was admittedly hard to pull off with a giant candy cane in his mouth, he skipped over to their table.

Flopping onto the bench seat on the opposite side of the booth from Nick, Kelly pulled the candy cane from his mouth with a loud, wet pop. When Nick didn’t look up from his menu, Kelly squinted and waved the candy cane at him.

“Hey, Irish. Do you know why Santa comes down the chimney?” Kelly tilted his head to the side as he continued to study Nick. With another wave of the candy cane he continued, “It’s because his pants are too tight and he wiggles a lot.”

At first it seemed like Nick hadn’t heard the joke, but then Kelly caught the barest hint of Nick’s shoulders rising and falling as Nick took a deep breath. Nick’s head rose and his hands folded over the menu. Kelly bit his bottom lip, trying to reign in his giggle. Nick blinked slowly before an easy smile spread across his lips. 

There was an unfamiliar tug in Kelly’s gut as Nick’s face lit up with laughter. Not wanting to dwell on that, Kelly waggled his eyebrows at Nick before sucking the candy cane back into his mouth.

Over the next hour Kelly watched Nick transform from brooding and tense, to his normal, unflappable self. With each bite of food, Nick's eyes grew brighter. Each inappropriate joke they told each other, was met with gasping, raucous laughter. Kelly's body grew lighter, warmer as the evening progressed and he wasn't entirely sure that the steady stream of drinks that accompanied his meal was completely to blame for that. 

The waitress cleared their plates, promising to return quickly with dessert. Kelly watched Nick grin at the waitress, her cheeks flushing as she backed away from the table. Nick had always been that way. The consummate and indiscriminate flirt. Unlike Ty, Nick didn't just turn his flirting on and off, it was one of his default ways of interacting with people. As natural to Nick as breathing or breaking out into song when drunk. 

Maybe it was the Jack and Cokes Kelly had drunk that evening, but he found himself acknowledging that Nick was attractive enough to be able to talk any girl he wanted into bed. When you took into account Nick's talents in the art of seduction, Kelly wasn't sure that it was only the women in danger of losing themselves in Nick's glittering green eyes.

Deep down, Kelly knew the flirting was just as much of a mask and defense mechanism as Nick's seemingly endless patience. The biggest difference between Nick's masks and the ones the rest of Sidewinder wore, was that it took a lot more to see what was behind Nick's. Even Kelly, who had known Nick for most of their adult lives, was only vaguely familiar with the parts of Nick's personality he kept hidden from the world.

That knowledge made him sort of sad. Kelly couldn't imagine how lonely it must get to keep people, even his closest friends, at arm’s length like Nick did.

The waitress returned with their desserts, leaving them to settle into a comfortable silence. Kelly scooped up a bite of his ice cream with M&M topping and then hesitated. 

"Thank you," Kelly murmured while smiling fondly across the table at Nick.

Nick's brows rose in confusion, his fork stopping halfway to his mouth. "What for?"

Shrugging awkwardly Kelly looked back down at his ice cream, watching the candy coatings melt into the vanilla, leaving trails of sugared color in their wake. 

"For being there. Helping me save my shit from my crazy ex," he cleared his throat. "Letting me stay with you."

"Of course," Nick's tone was incredulous. "I'll always help you, Kelly." Kelly met Nick's gaze and gave him a grateful smile. "What I don't understand was why she was trying to burn your shit in the first place? How did that even happen?"

The laugh escaped Kelly's lips before he could stop himself. "I may have called her Satan," he replied sheepishly.

"Seriously?"

"It wasn't one of my better ideas." Kelly giggled.

Nick snorted. “How did that even come up in a conversation? Did you just roll over and say, ‘Good morning, Satan.’”

“No, but that would have been awesome.” Kelly beamed back at Nick. He laughed again quietly and bit his lip. “I knew you were just getting into town to help me move out. I was getting ready to leave the house and she saw I didn’t have any of my things with me. She freaked the fuck out, started yelling at me to get my shit out of the house. I tried to blow her off and as I was walking out of the door she grabbed my arm so  she could yell in my face. So, I shouted back at her, ‘Yes, Satan, I know,’ then I walked out.”

Nick sighed and shook his head. “You’re an asshole. You know that, right?” Nick bit his lip like he was trying not to laugh. “At least she waited until she saw your car turn onto the street before she started throwing your things into the fire.”

“Looking on the bright side?” Kelly gasped playfully. “Nicky, I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Nick chucked a sugar packet at him. They both had the decency to look apologetic when the waitress walked up to the table just as the packet hit Kelly's shoulder and bounced into his melting bowl of ice cream. 

Kelly won the tussle over who would get to pay for dinner since Nick had already handed over his card to the bartender to pay for their drinks. Still, Kelly the bill over his head in triumph when he was finally able to get it away from Nick. He dug out his wallet and handed his card to the waitress.

After she walked away Kelly looked back at Nick. The air of stress and brooding was gone. Nick’s green eyes were bright, cheeks flushed and his bottom lip was clamped firmly beneath his top teeth. Kelly swallowed, not wanting to examine why his pulse was suddenly running a little faster.

Looking for a distraction Kelly reached for one of the orange slices the waitress had brought to the table and a fortune cookie. With the meat of the orange in his mouth, Kelly read his fortune aloud to Nick, “’You are destined to be lucky in love.’” Nick lost his battle with the laughter he was trying to contain. Kelly threw a chunk of his cookie at Nick. “Asshole. What does yours say?”

Nick took a few moments to compose himself as he cracked his cookie in half and pulled out the paper fortune. “’A happy life is just in front of you,’” he snorted. “Where do they even get these?”

Kelly shrugged. The waitress came back with Kelly’s card while he and Nick were tucking the fortunes into their wallets. All the members of Sidewinder had learned to be at least a little bit superstitious over the years, so it wasn’t uncommon for them to save things like paper fortunes. Even if they were full bullshit.

They made their way back over to the bar area just as the restaurant half began closing for the night. The crowd had thinned considerably and someone had turned on music, an eclectic mix that provided a nice break from the months of Christmas carols that were playing everywhere. Nick was already humming along as they found seats at the bar and ordered another round of drinks.

Twenty minutes later Kelly sat with his back to the bar, feet kicking in a lazy rhythm, while he watched Nick singing loudly with a group of strangers. Chuckling to himself Kelly thought about all the times over the years that evenings out with Sidewinder had broken down into riotous musical numbers. There in the middle of all the chaos, you would invariably find Nick and Ty, arms wrapped around each others shoulders, harmonizing. 

A few of those moments had been caught on video by Kelly and the other guys in Sidewinder. Videos they all kept copies of, in one form or another, tucked away for the inevitable late nights when they found themselves missing their brothers in arms. Kelly rubbed at his chest with one hand as he thought about what he would do if he ever lost one of them.

Nick’s hand tugging on Kelly’s wrist brought him out of the bittersweet flood of memories. Looking up Kelly took in the devious glint in Nick’s eyes and the quirk in his lips. “They’re playing your song,” Nick said as he pulled more insistently at Kelly’s arm, dragging him onto the makeshift dance floor. 

Kelly listened closer to the song for a few seconds and then he realized what song Nick was talking about. It was a pop song called “Trouble” and the guys in Sidewinder had been teasing him about for months because Kelly looked like the guy in the video. 

Kelly began to struggle. “No. Hell no.”

“Hell yes. You are coming with me.”

“No, dammit.”

Kelly started swatting at Nick’s hold on his arm. Nick’s eyes flared and he nodded once. The next thing Kelly knew he was slung over Nick’s shoulder and being carried in the direction of Nick’s new singing partners. Kelly flailed and slapped at his Santa hat to keep it from falling off.

At that point Kelly was resigned to the fact that he would be joining Nick in his singing with strangers compulsion. Besides, Kelly was already drunk enough to not really give a shit if he humiliated himself in front of a bunch of people in the bar. Not that he ever really cared about making a fool of himself when he was sober, but it was customary among the guys in Sidewinder to put up a token struggle and perpetuate the pseudo sibling rivalry.

Moments later, Nick unceremoniously dumped Kelly back on his feet and wrapped an arm around Kelly’s shoulders. Once Nick seemed sure that Kelly was stable on his feet and not going to attempt to run away, Nick’s voice joined the others. Kelly added his own at the beginning of the next verse and they sang. The songs continued to play and they continued to sing. They danced and they kept their arms wrapped around each other the entire time. Nick’s around Kelly’s shoulders, Kelly’s around Nick’s lower back, since he wasn’t tall enough to comfortably stand that long with his arm around Nick’s shoulders.

Eventually, word made it around that the bar was closing in fifteen minutes. The music shifted from upbeat bar sing-a-long anthems to slower songs after that. Kelly and Nick exchanged handshakes and farewells with their singing partners, as each of them left to join their families for the last few hours of the holiday. 

Kelly gave his Santa hat to one of the women they had met, in exchange for a kiss on the cheek. Pink wasn’t really his color anyway. 

He and Nick hung back for a while, giving the crowd of people paying for their evening of drinks a chance to thin out. 

Kelly hummed to himself, smirking slightly as he pulled the shirt for Ty from his back pocket and began rolling it so it could be stashed more securely in his coat pocket. His body was buzzing and he looked forward to melting into bed in the near future. 

Nick’s arm curled around Kelly’s shoulders once more and he swayed them both in time with the music. Nick's warm voice crooned along with the song as he rested his head against Kelly's. “And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life. When sooner or later it’s over, I just don’t wanna miss you tonight.” 

Kelly smiled. The way Nick loosened up when he was drunk had long been one of his favorite things. He turned his head slightly, resting his nose against Nick's cheek. “You flirting with me, Irish?” he asked playfully. Kelly pulled back so he could watch Nick. “’Cause if I had known this was a date, I’d have let you buy dinner.”

Nick’s face flashed with an expression Kelly didn’t recognize, before transforming into a predatory smile that Kelly had only ever seen Nick aim at women before he pulled them away to some hotel room or coat closet. Kelly’s smile froze on his face. His pulse hammered in his chest as Nick’s hand moved from Kelly’s shoulder until it was gripping the back of Kelly’s neck firmly. Nick leaned in again, his lips grazing the shell of Kelly’s ear, his voice was almost a growl as he spoke. “When I flirt with you, Doc. You’ll fucking know it.” Nick’s grip on Kelly’s neck tightened and Kelly fought to control his breathing.

A moment later Nick released him and leaned back, a grin plastered on his face. “I’m gonna go settle our tab.” Nick patted Kelly’s shoulder as he sauntered away.

_Holy fuck._ Kelly’s mouth was dry, his skin felt too tight and his body was buzzing in an entirely different way than it was five minutes before. 

Kelly had watched Nick woo a lot of women over the years. He’d even shared a room with him while they both had sex with different women on a few occasions. Now that he had been on the receiving end of that smile and aggressive nature it made even more sense to him why the girls followed Nick around like he was the Pied-fucking-Piper. 

Of course that didn’t really explain why Kelly himself was hard right now, since he was straight. Too much alcohol in the face of a highly skilled seducer. That must be it. Kelly cleared his throat and adjusted his softening erection as he headed off in the direction Nick had disappeared in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can see the shirt Kelly bought for Ty [here](http://media.tumblr.com/dcb2d281adfb2d87886fe4e7583373ff/tumblr_inline_mrst5uXJMp1qz4rgp.png) along with the note they would have slipped in the package along with it.


	3. Home for Xmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick and Kelly share a hotel room after their Christmas evening at the Chinese restaurant and bar.

Nick unlocked the door to their hotel room and Kelly dashed inside. He was shivering and rubbing at his arms trying to warm himself up. The room was small and had only one bed. Nick had reserved two, but thanks to the holiday and some shuffling at the front desk, when they came to claim their reservation so late that night they ended up stuck with a single bed. Which didn’t actually bother either of them. There had been plenty of times over the years when the guys in Sidewinder had slept in puppy piles or shared beds out of necessity.

They were both way too drunk to take get the car from the valet. So they had walked the two blocks from the restaurant to the hotel. It had snowed before they left and it had been fucking freezing outside. Neither of them had thought it would be as miserable as it ended up being, or they would have just rented a damn cab. 

“W-where the h-hell is the h-heater is this b-bitch?” Kelly chattered out.

Nick looked around as he stamped snow off of his boots and spotted it on the wall underneath the window. He fussed with the controls for a few minutes before looking over at Kelly. 

“This is as warm as it’s going to get. It’s turned all the way up.”

Kelly whimpered. “This is bullshit. Why is it so cold?”

“Doesn’t Colorado have worse winters than Massachusetts?” Nick gave him a patient smile. “You could take a shower, the warm water would warm you up.”

Kelly glared. Which, he had to admit, would have probably been more intimidating if he wasn’t shivering so hard. “Quit trying to make me use logic. Let me whine in peace.” He stuck his tongue out playfully. “Besides, there is no way I want to get naked right now. I am too cold, too tired and still way too drunk for that shit.”

Nick snorted in reply as he moved their bags onto the small table in the room and pulled off his coat. Kelly tugged off his own and trudged over to stand by Nick. Nick was pawing through his duffel bag and pulling off his shirt. After a few more moments, he had changed into a pair of sweats and a teal t-shirt. Once he was dressed he turned to look at Kelly. “The faster you get changed, Doc. The faster we can get under the covers and you can start using me as your own personal warming pillow.” Kelly glared at him, still shivering. Nick laughed and headed off towards the restroom. Begrudgingly, Kelly shucked his clothes and slipped on his sweats as quickly as possible. As soon as he was finished he dove at the bed, tugging on the blankets until he was cocooned in the center of the bed. 

Nick returned a few moments later, grunted and began pulling at the blankets. Kelly whined and burrowed tighter. Nick shoved at Kelly’s shoulder. “Come on, Doc. Get up and use the restroom, then you can burrow.” Nick growled. “I don’t want to get settled and warm only to have you suddenly remember you forgot to do it.”

“Fuck you, I’m getting warm.”

“Wrong answer.” Nick said cheerfully, before yanking the blankets away and pushed Kelly onto the floor.

“Hey, asshole, that hurt.” Actually, it didn’t, but that was beside the point.

Nick just laughed before plopping onto the bed and pulling the blankets over himself. Kelly pouted at him from his spot on the floor, but Nick ignored him. With a huff Kelly pushed himself off the floor and stormed towards the restroom.

When he returned Nick was staring at the television with a rare, wonder struck version of his trademark half smile on his face. Kelly tilted his head.

“What are you watching?”

“A Claymation Christmas,” he responded without taking his eyes off the television.

“What the fuck is that?”

“It has the California raisins,” he said like that explained anything.

Kelly opened his mouth and closed it again. “The what?” Nick didn’t answer. Kelly looked at the television and tried to make sense out of the movies blobs of clay shaped like dinosaurs in suits on the screen. “Nick, are you high right now? Did you dig into my weed without sharing again?”

Finally Nick looked at him. “You brought weed with you to Boston? Kelly, you know I’m a cop here, I’m supposed to arrest you for that shit when you’re in my jurisdiction.”

Kelly’s lips quirked. He twirled his fingers around the ends of an invisible mustache and gave his best cheesy movie villain cackle. “You’ll never catch me, copper.”

Nick rolled his eyes and gestured at the bed. “Are you coming to bed yet? Five minutes ago I couldn’t get you out of it and now you’re standing in the hallway talking nonsense.”

“I’m not talking nonsense,” he whined as he pulled back the blankets and crawled onto the bed. “You’re the one watching stoner claymation.”

“It’s not stoner claymation.” Kelly stared at him, eyebrows raised as he shifted closer to Nick and gestured at the television. “Okay, so as an adult watching it, yes, it’s stoner claymation. But this was one of the only Christmas movies I actually liked when I was growing up.”

“Nick, they’re singing about waffles right now.,” he deadpanned. “How the fuck is this a Christmas movie?”

“That’s exactly why I like it.” Nick grinned.

Kelly shook his head and set about getting comfortable. Which was easier said than done. The mattress was a little lumpy and he never had perfected the technique of sleeping cuddled up next to someone else without his damn arm going to sleep. 

“Will you settle already, please?” Nick groaned. “You’re worse than a fucking cat.”

“I’m cold, damnit.”

Kelly finally flopped into what seemed like a comfortable position and tugged at the blanket to bring it closer to his neck.

“I don’t care how cold you are. If you kick me in your sleep again I will toss you on the floor.”

“That was one time.”

“You kicked me in the dick, Kelly. I don’t care how many times it happened. Once was enough” Kelly jabbed him in the ribs. Nick laughed and wrapped and arm around Kelly, pulling him closer. Leaning down, Nick growled against Kelly’s hair, “Seriously, will you just relax so we can get warm?” Snuggling his face against Nick’s chest, Kelly nodded. A few minutes later Nick murmured into Kelly’s hair again, “Merry Christmas, Kelly.”

“Merry Christmas, Nick.” Kelly fell asleep on Nick’s chest, while Nick’s fingers traced lines up and down his back and a clay dinosaur in a green suit talked on the television.

 

* * *

 

Something smelled amazing. Kelly didn’t know where the smell was coming from, but it made him feel safe. It also made him a little horny and he was aware enough to recognize that as being strange. He shifted on the bed. Kelly’s eyes popped open when he realized he wasn’t sleeping directly on the bed, but he was instead sprawled on Nick’s chest. Kelly licked his lips and took a deep breath. That’s when he realized two things. The first, was that the amazing smell he noticed when he woke up was coming from Nick. And second, that Nick’s morning erection was pressed into Kelly’ hip, inches from Kelly’s own erection. Kelly swallowed and tried to ignore the quick flash of heat running through his body. _Definitely had too much to drink last night._  

Nick shifted in his sleep underneath Kelly, his erection now nudging at the crease in Kelly's pelvis. It was a mere breath away from Kelly’s way-too-excited-about-all-of-this morning erection. Kelly willed himself to concentrate on something else. Anything other than how good Nick smelled or how hard his own cock was. And he was absolutely not thinking about how big Nick's cock felt pressed against him or why the size of his best friend's dick was making his own twitch and leak like it was begging to say hello and make friends. _Okay, that’s not working as well as I'd hoped._ Kelly took a deep, steadying breath and shifted his hips away from Nick's erection. 

It didn't really matter how long they had been friends or how close they were. Straight guys usually weren't cool waking up with their cock against another dude's cock. Kelly would really prefer not to get his ass kicked or, worse, lose his friend because Kelly's dick decided it wanted to go exploring while he was asleep.

Nick's phone rang, disrupting Kelly's thoughts and waking Nick up in the same go. Nick flailed for his phone on the bedside table and mumbled, "Hello?" in a sleep-thick voice. After a few moments Nick titled the phone away from his mouth and whispered to Kelly, "It's Ty." Kelly grinned and motioned for Nick to tell Ty, that he said hello, which Nick did. 

Kelly listened to Nick’s voice for a few more minutes before he burrowed back under the covers. He wrapped himself around Nick again because it was still freezing in their room. Kelly was thankful his erection had stopped acting weird and gone down. He had just begun drifting off again when Nick tugged on his hair. 

"Hey, Ty wants to talk to you," he said as he handed Kelly the phone.

"Grady, you bastard,” he grumbled into the phone. “How was your Christmas?"

"It was fine. I mean, what kind of Christmas would it be without accidentally setting one of your cousins on fire."

"What? How and why the fuck did you set one of your cousins on fire?"

Ty hummed distractedly. "What? Oh, it was nothing. I'm sure his hair will grow back. Eventually."

Kelly cackled while Ty giggled. Eventually, Ty caught his breath. 

"Seriously, though. How was Christmas for you two? I heard about the bonfire."

Nick tapped Kelly's shoulder and whispered that he was going to use the restroom. Kelly watched as Nick slipped out of bed and made his way down the hallway, carrying his duffel. "The bonfire was pretty funny, after the fact. Christmas was mostly good for us. It ended better than it started anyway."

"What happened?"

Once Kelly saw the door shut and heard the shower turn on, he sighed and shifted on the bed until he was resting against the headboard. "We visited Nick's family."

"Crap. How did that go? Did anyone get arrested?"

"No, there was no bloodshed, but it got close a couple of times." They were both quiet for a few moments. Kelly played with the edge of the blanket, Ty sighed on the other end of the line. Kelly’s voice was rough when he finally continued. "I hate that he grew up in that house. Just being a witness to that environment was awful. The shit his dad said and how everyone else just pretended that everything was fine. Like there wasn't a grown man yelling at his adult son about how he should never have left and tried to make something of himself. It was fucked up."

"How is he doing?"

Kelly sighed and glanced at the bathroom where the shower was still running. "Honestly? I don't know. I could tell he was feeling like crap about it last night after we left, but by the end of the night he was just Nick again. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, to be honest."

Ty was quiet for a few minutes. "What about you? How are you doing with the divorce and everything?"

"I'm fine. Honestly, I'm glad it's over. I learned really quickly that I am not husband material. Not yet, maybe not ever."

Ty chuckled sadly. "You'll call me if anything happens?"

"Of course. I'll call you as soon as I get home to tell you how I said no to the stranger in the white van offering me candy while I walked home from school. Just like you taught me, mom."

"Asshole," Ty laughed.

"Yes, I will let you know if anything happens,” he replied, suddenly serious. “Honestly though, I think we're both fine."

"That's good. That's really good."

"Have you talked to the others yet?"

"Yeah, Sanchez just got back from a UC job and he's spent the holiday with his partner's family in the city. Owen went to some swank office party that one of the company’s clients threw. Digger said something about blowing up a shed and now his neighbor wasn't letting him cook for him anymore. Whatever the hell that means."

"Oh, so everything is normal, then."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"How is life as a Feeb treating you?"

"It's... it's interesting. I'm back home for a few days on a break right now, then I have to go back to my UC job. It’s different from what we all did, that's for sure."

"You know if you ever need our help, undercover or not, we're all just a phone call away, man."

"Of course, I always know when to ask for help."

"You're so full of shit."

"No, it's true. Just because I don't always follow through on it doesn't mean I don't know when I _should_ be calling for help."

"Asshole."

"If I ever come across something I can't handle, I'll call. I promise."

"Good. Now, when do you leave again? We, well I, but we're both sending it, got you a shirt last night. Do I have a chance at getting it to you before you go back?"

"I leave again on the fifth of January."

"Oh, that should be fine then. I'll still probably have Nick do it because I'm sure I'll lose the damn thing." Ty chuckled. "When are they going to let you shave off that ridiculous Van Dyke beard anyway? I think Owen's left eye is still twitching over the sight of that hideous thing."

"Fuck you, man. Van Dyke beards are classic."

Kelly giggled. He enjoyed getting Ty riled up. Especially on things like the ludicrous lengths Ty was willing to go to in order to make an undercover persona believable.

 A voice in the background called out to Ty. "Hold on a second, Doc." Ty said before he started having a muffled, playful sounding argument with the source of the voice. 

Kelly chuckled as he listened. The only things he could make out from the other half of the argument were the words car, ruined and fireworks. Plus one rather loud, 'Goddammit, Ty,' which Kelly had grown accustomed to hearing in a multitude of different languages over the years. The whole time Ty's voice was calm, soothing and sounded so full of shit as he explained how he had no idea what the voice was talking about. That expensive sports cars must come with that feature as a special option and how the voice really should have paid more attention to the owner's manual.

After a muffled thump that sounded suspiciously like something being chucked at Ty's head, another sound Kelly was rather used to, Ty came back on the line.

"I don't know where he thinks I would find fireworks in West Virginia in December." Ty said in mock disbelief before he cackled into the phone.

"You're such a bastard."

"Yeah, I know." Ty hummed happily. "He'll get over it. It was an ugly car anyway."

Nick came out of the bathroom, fully dressed and drying his hair with one of the fluffy hotel towels. "Is that asshole still talking?"

"Yes, he was just telling me how good your mom was in bed last night." Kelly grinned back at Nick. Nick chucked the wet towel at Kelly's face and snatched the phone. "Hey, gimme that back. I wasn't done hearing about the havoc Grady is wreaking in West Virginia."

"Nope," Nick said playfully as he spun out of Kelly's reach and walked around to sit on the other side of the bed. "You have officially lost your phone holding privileges. Now you get to suffer with speaker phone."

"Are you two done flirting?" Ty’s voice echoed after Nick turned on speaker phone.

"No," they answered simultaneously.

Ty growled softly. "Anyway, now that I have both of you bastards on the phone. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry your dad is an asshole, O. And Doc, I’m sorry I wasn't there to help save your crap from the bonfire or offer my spare bedroom."

Kelly made a dismissive noise as Nick sprawled on the bed, finally settling with his head resting on Kelly's thighs. "Please, a sleepover on the boat is way better than staying at the row house, which is way too close to your neighbors by the way. I don't know how you city people can stand being that close together." Nick swatted Kelly's arm, Kelly swatted him back.

"I love you too, asshole," Ty huffed back.

The three of them talked for a while longer. Telling jokes, trading banter and slipping in sarcastic sounding, but completely heartfelt bits of affection. For the second time in the last twelve hours Kelly was struck by how distraught he would be if he lost any of his Sidewinder brothers. They were the family he’d never had the chance to hold onto growing up. The constant people in his life that would drop everything with one phone call and travel hundreds or even thousands of miles if he needed help, and Kelly would do the same for any of them.

Nick must have noticed his silence because he reached out and squeezed Kelly's hand. Nick and the other guys knew how hard the holidays were for Kelly. It wasn't something he usually lingered on, but just because he wasn't lingering didn't mean the pain wasn't there. He gave Nick a sad smile and squeezed back, silently thanking him for the show of support.

After eventually exchanging goodbyes and holiday greetings with Ty, Nick hung up the phone. They sat in silence for a few minutes, allowing themselves to ease into the morning after Hurricane Ty rolled through. 

Kelly glanced at Nick and noticed that he was wearing what Kelly liked to call 'his post-Ty face.' It was an expression that Kelly had yet to figure out, but certainly didn't like seeing. It was a mixture of melancholy, pain, laughter and something else unidentifiable. Whatever it was, Nick only seemed to wear that face when he had just finished talking to Ty and sometimes even when he was standing next to Ty.

It was an expression that Kelly recognized as always having been there over the years, in one form or another. It changed, becoming sadder and more melancholy, after Nick and Ty came back from being POWs. Which had been an absolutely awful time for all of Sidewinder, but nowhere near as horrific as it must have been for Nick and Ty. It made Kelly's heart ache anytime he thought of it. Kelly still occasionally felt guilty that Nick had been able to kill the man that had tried to drag Kelly along with them when Nick and Ty were captured. 

The expression was at its worse after they were discharged. After Nick and Ty had gotten into a fight that left Ty angry enough to not talk to Nick for a full year. They had only started talking again when Ty called Nick for help and Ty must have finally realized he was being an asshole. Kelly had visited Nick as often as possible during that year. Often arriving early or staying later to catch him during Sidewinder's usual get together weekends. 

The one time that the expression had been at its worst, most painful had been a few months after Nick's fight with Ty. When Kelly and Nick had met up with Elias and Owen for dinner in NYC to celebrate Elias being assigned to the NYC field office.

 

* * *

 

_Summer 2003_

 

Kelly had arrived in Boston a few days before to catch a baseball game with Nick. When they got the call from Elias about his assignment they made plans to head into the city the following evening for dinner with Elias and Owen. 

The next night the four of them were sharing a dark corner booth at a pizza place in Brooklyn. Classic Blues spilled through the speakers, blending with the noise of the sizable Wednesday night crowd. Their bottles clinked together as they toasted Elias’ official FBI office assignment. It was a proud moment for the guys in Sidewinder, to see one of their own getting settled into what they were all calling, ‘life after Recon.’

“How’s Boston PD treating you, Irish?” Elias asked after the toast.

“It’s good so far.” Nick smiled. “Different from doing Recon most of the time, other times not so much. It’s nice to be back in Boston, at least.”

“Me too, I missed New York. I’ve got a job offer in California, though.” Owen added.

Kelly tilted his head. “I’m not sure I can picture you in California.”

Elias snorted and Owen glared back at Kelly. “There’s a corporation there that wants me to head up their security department. It actually seems promising. Also, it would take me farther away from you assholes.” Kelly beamed at Owen’s scowling face.

“What about you, Doc?” Elias asked.

“There’s this camp I used to go to once in a while when I was growing up.” Kelly mused. “It’s for troubled kids. They’re looking for extra hands, I might give that a shot. They could use the help.”

“You’d be good at that, Doc.” Nick replied. Kelly gave him a small smile.

“What about Digger?” Owen asked. “Has anyone been able to get a straight answer out of him?”

Elias and Kelly both laughed. Nick shook his head. “That bastard has told me everything from gigolo to cupcake maker, pirate and bank robber.”

Elias nodded thoughtfully. “I could see him as a bank robber.”

“What about Ty? Do any of you know which office he’s been assigned to yet?” Owen asked. 

Kelly saw Elias elbow Owen, but Nick’s silence quickly drew Kelly’s attention. Nick’s face was contorted with hurt before he turned to look aimlessly into the crowd for a moment. Kelly frowned. From the corner of his eye he could see Owen making an “I’m sorry” gesture at Elias. 

Kelly knew it had been about six months since Ty had spoken to Nick at all. Whenever any of the guys mentioned Nick to Ty they were met with Ty snorting and glaring before he changed the subject. He refused to talk about their fight. Nick always looked hurt and a little angry whenever someone mentioned Ty, but he also refused to talk about the fight. Kelly and the rest of Sidewinder hoped they would get over it soon and start talking again, because it was fucking awkward being in the middle of it. 

Eventually Nick turned back to them with a fake smile plastered on his face.

“Ty said they’ll probably assign him to D.C., Baltimore or Atlanta.” Elias said to Owen as he looked at Nick quizzically.

“Good for him,” Nick’s voice was cheerful as he took another swig of his drink.

Owen slapped Nick on the shoulder. “He’ll come around, man. With Grady you just gotta give him time.” Kelly hummed in agreement, Nick smiled tightly. 

Elias licked his lips and looked at Nick. “I agree, he will come around eventually.” Elias pointed at Nick as he continued. “But you also have to stand your ground on the things that matter to you. We’ve all seen how easily Ty can manipulate people into doing what he wants or needs them to do. Sure, in Recon that was how we live and breathed.” Elias shook his head slightly, his voice growing quieter. “But life outside of Recon isn’t like that. One day he’ll make a decision that might end up costing him his happiness. Especially if he continues trying to push and mold the people he loves around like that.” Elias met Nick’s eyes, holding his gaze. “You have to do what’s right for you, O. Don’t let Grady push you around.”

“Besides,” Owen explained. “You two have far too much history to throw it all away over bullshit.”

Kelly was at a loss for words, but he gave Nick a reassuring smile.

Nick looked around the table for a while, meeting their eyes, before he eventually cleared his throat and smiled widely. “Elias, how is your new partner, anyway? Do we need to let him know if he doesn’t watch your back we’ll kick his ass?”

Elias stared at Nick for a moment, before sighing. It was clear to everyone at the table that Nick was discussing Ty. 

“He’s a bit of a goofy bastard, but he seems to be a good guy. I’ve already warned him about all of you jackasses.”

They all laughed and the evening was upbeat from then on.

 

* * *

 

Nick rolling over and poking Kelly in the stomach startled Kelly out of his trip down memory lane. Kelly looked down at Nick, wide eyed, Nick's lips quirked as Nick looked back at him.

"Where did you disappear to, Doc?"

"... breakfast," Kelly answered, being deliberately vague.

"Breakfast?"

"Yes. Bacon."

"You were daydreaming about bacon?"

"Don't you daydream about bacon?"

Nick rolled his eyes. "We have to check out in a couple hours. I'm going to go grab us some breakfast. And apparently get _you_ your damn bacon.” Kelly laughed at Nick’s playful glare. “If you want to grab a shower while I'm out, we can get on the road after we eat."

"That works for me." 

Five minutes later Nick was out the door and Kelly was adjusting the temperature of the water in his shower. 

Kelly was still a little riled up from waking up with a confusing hard-on that morning. After taking a moment to calculate it out, he realized it had been far longer than normal since he had last gotten off. Coupling that with too much to drink the night before and the stress surrounding his divorce, Kelly figured he was due for an awkward boner or two.

After squeezing some of the hotel conditioner into his palm Kelly braced his other hand against the wall of the shower. He wrapped his slick fingers around his hard length. The warm water beat a steady rhythm onto his shoulders as he began to stroke himself.

It soon became apparent that this was not going to be a quick jerk off session. _Of course not_ , Kelly thought to himself bitterly, _why would my cock decide to cooperate now, and let me get off before Nick came back, when it had been fighting me since the night before._

He groaned softly as he turned to lean against the wall of the shower, letting the water fall down on his stomach, groin and legs. With his right hand still stroking slowly and his left now brushing at his balls, Kelly let his head fall back against the wall. His eyes drifted closed as he tried to recall the last time he had slept with someone other than his soon-to-be ex-wife. There were a few waitresses he vaguely remembered, not enough to be useful to him now though. 

Kelly's breath hitched when he was suddenly flooded with the memory of a leave Sidewinder had spent in San Diego. Kelly and Nick had shared a hotel room that night. They had met a couple of girls at a bar and brought them back up to the room. 

Heat pulsed through Kelly's veins as flashes of that evening played in his head.

_Kelly kissing the brunette girl, catching a glimpse of Nick kissing the blonde, while Kelly watched over the brunette's shoulder. Watching Nick wrap one hand in the blonde's hair, using his other to hitch her legs around his waist. The whimper the blonde made as Nick nipped at her neck._

Kelly bit his lip and moved his left hand from his balls to tease the head of his cock.

_Nick tossing the blonde onto the bed, when they were both naked. Kelly licking a line of skin from the brunette's pubic bone to her neck, feeling her body writhing underneath him. The moans the blonde let out while Nick went down on her from behind. Kelly slipping on a condom and sinking into the brunette. Hearing the blonde scream as Nick brought her to her first orgasm of the evening._

Kelly moaned quietly. One thumb brushing against the head of his cock as he started to stroke faster. Waves of pleasure rode through his body, feeling like they were brushing up just beneath his skin.

_Nick licking and biting his way up the blonde's spine, watching the way she fought to squirm beneath him as he held her wrists on the bed. The brunette gasping in Kelly's ear as he thrust into her with an intensity he normally didn't attempt. Nick pulling the blonde up until she was sitting in his lap as he fucked her. One hand gently gripping her neck, the other teasing it's way down her body._

Kelly's left hand caressed up his clenching stomach muscles. A gasp tore from his lips when his thumb reached one of his nipples. With the other hand he tugged harder on his cock as he gently rolled his nipple between two fingers. His body was on fire and he fought with himself to keep his whimpering quiet.

_The sound of Nick's voice echoing through the hotel room as he growled against the blonde's cheek, "Give it to me, babe. I know you can come one more time for me." Kelly's own orgasm had overwhelmed him that night as he listened to the blonde scream again in Nick’s lap when she came. The whole time Nick massaged her clit with the hand that wasn't still wrapped around her throat. Nick gasping as he thrust one last time into the blonde. The brunette clenching around Kelly, digging her fingernails into his back as she came._

Kelly was panting and was quickly losing the ability to keep his whimpering quiet. He tugged at his right nipple, the sensation sending a line of fire from his nipple straight to his throbbing cock, pulling a shout from his lips. Letting go of his nipple, Kelly slapped a hand over his mouth as his hips snapped forward in rhythm with his strokes. 

He was teetering on the edge, with just a little push he knew he’d be able to finish. Find the release he’d been chasing the whole morning.

_Morning. Waking up on top of Nick. The smell of Nick filling his nose._

Kelly groaned against his hand. That wasn’t exactly what he wanted to be thinking about while he jerked off, but his cock had other ideas. It was leaking and twitching harder than it had all morning.

_The little noise Nick had made when Kelly was eating the candy cane the night before. The feral look in his eyes before he realized Kelly had turned to look at him._

Kelly still wasn’t sure what had made him eat the candy cane that way. Still, his hand gripped his cock tighter and pulled a little harder.

_Nick’s arm wrapping around Kelly’s back, jerking them together. The butterflies dancing in Kelly’s gut as he waited to see if Nick would kiss him or not. The flutter in his chest when he unexpectedly hoped that Nick would._

Kelly was practically shouting into his hand now. Balls drawing up, stomach muscles clenching and releasing rapidly. Kelly moaned as his whole body began to tense in anticipation of his impending release.

_Nick’s hand gripping the back of Kelly’s neck, pulling their faces together. The feel of Nick’s breath against Kelly’s cheek as Nick moved closer. Nick’s lips dragging gently against Kelly’s ear as he growled, “When I flirt with you, Doc. You’ll fucking know it.”_

Doubling over, Kelly screamed against his hand as he came. He slid down the wall, coming to a rest on the floor of the shower. He sighed softly as his hand fell away from his mouth. 

A few minutes later a knock on the bathroom door startled Kelly out of his afterglow. Nick’s muffled voice was just barely louder than the, thankfully, still warm water cascading down on Kelly.

“If you stay in there masturbating much longer, you’ll go blind!”

“Fuck you, man. I have needs!”

“Yes, and if I remember correctly one of those needs was bacon. Which is here now and if you hurry I might even save you some.”

“Don’t you dare eat my bacon, you bitch!”

Nick didn’t bother to reply. Kelly blushed as he quickly took the time to finish his shower. This time getting clean instead of dirty.

This wasn’t the first time Kelly had masturbated to an awkward scenario, it probably wouldn’t be the last either. As far as he was concerned, everyone did it once in a while, even if they didn’t want to admit it. 

Wasting over a year dating and being married to his soon-to-be ex-wife, Kelly was left stressed and more than a little wrung out. Adding in the instinctive protective response he had to seeing Nick threatened by his father. Followed by the two of them getting drunk and touchy-feely afterward. And finally, combining all of that with the usual underlying stress of the holiday season and the current unknown path his future was taking. Kelly truly believed that all of it explained his unusual physical response to Nick in the past twenty-four hours. 

It wasn’t like he reacted like that to Nick when they were both completely sober on any normal day of the year. If he did, then Kelly might question his sexuality, but not until then. While using one of the fluffy hotel towels to dry off, Kelly promised himself that if he did ever find himself reacting to Nick like that on a normal day, or if the feelings didn’t go away in a week or so, that he would say something. 

Kelly pulled on a pair of jeans and stuffed his t-shirt into his back pocket. He left the bathroom while he was still towel drying his hair. He called out to Nick playfully, “Where’s my bacon, bitch?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing I never got around to adding, they were supposed to exchange gifts. Nick was supposed to give Kelly a [vinyl doll](http://sites.kidrobot.com/munnyworld/) that looked like a devil in a doctor's uniform. Kelly would have given Nick tickets to Dropkick Murphy's annual St. Patrick's Day weekend concert in Boston.
> 
> As far as the level of flirting and attraction in this particular fic? I always meant to write one more fic to go between this bit and Weekend at Kelly's. It would have had the Sidewinder guys on their last camping trip with Elias Sanchez before he was killed in New York right before Cut & Run starts. Kelly would have noticed that his feelings toward Nick on that trip weren't as overpowering or unusual and would have chocked up his unusual levels of attraction to being emotionally compromised by his divorce--and alcohol. There also would have been more of Nick checking out Ty and brooding. Ultimately I never got around to writing that, but that is where this was supposed to go. Which would have left them back at their previous level of casual friends who sometimes find each other attractive.


End file.
